Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Extraordinary Kid Series

My extraordinary kid is sitting next to me playing with my hair saying "I lub your hair mom" as I'm writing this.  He's a smart kid.  He knows his teacher called today to let me know he wasn't his usual self.  I'm pretty sure that means he was difficult today.  The good news is this is the first time one of his teachers has called with an issue of that sort.  Some of the smallest things can throw my extraordinary kid off so he isn't his usual self.

The funny thing is the teacher had to call a few parents and she said some of them were telling her it's a full moon and thats why their kid misbehaved.  I laughed.  I'm pretty sure that has nothing to do with why Jayden had an off day. 

After I got off the phone with Jayden's teacher I started thinking about when I started to realize Jayden might be different from other kids or what I like to call extraordinary.  After two years in denial what I realized hit me like a ton of bricks. I remember having a panic attack.  I couldn't breathe and I could feel my heart pounding.  I didn't know exactly how to feel.  Last week guest blogger Michelle wrote...

"One other thing I would mention to parents of my students’ when they were having a hard time is that parents who have a child with a disability often go through the same grief cycle as parents who have a child die. And they go through it over and over and over again. It is normal to feel denial, guilt, shame, bargaining, depression and anger and other emotions even when you love your extraordinary child."

As I came out of denial I was sad and scared.  I didn't know if I was prepared to be the kind of mom Jayden needs.  My hope of each of my children getting married someday and having kids of their own crumbled.  I worried this might not happen for Jayden.  I was also selfish and worried he would live with me for the rest of his life.  Then I felt bad for feeling everything I was feeling.  It's a roller coaster of emotions...up...down....just when I thought I could manage around a sharp corner.

I decided to start taking it day by day.  I educated myself and started to talk about what I was going through.  I already had some extraordinary mom friends and made a few more.  I learned what I was going through is normal.  Loving my kid has never been an issue.  The thought of people being unkind to him is an issue but also life.  I don't know exactly what Jayden's future holds but I do know that he will have a mom who will support him.  When life decides to become a roller coaster I remind myself to take it one day at a time and sometimes I throw both arms in the air, enjoy the ride and live :)


  1. My one grandson is exceptional too. I've been reading books about autism, adhd, disorders in learning and I feel the same anxious panic you spoke of. My heart feels squished and my throat is tight and burns. I keep reading and they too say "one day or one hour or one minute" at a time. I want my Blakers to be happy and content and capable...I want that for your child too. Day by day...miracles happen...

  2. Miracles do happen everyday :) Sometimes we just need to recognize them. Your grandson is lucky to have you!

  3. My daughter is very special too! She has autism, and a syndrome called Bardet-Biedl syndrome. It can be very hard at times, but she and my son make it all worth it! I am so blessed to be their mother! They teach me so much!!!

  4. You described my feelings many years ago when my son was in 1st grade. He is 19 now and has graduated high school. Let me say to you what one teacher said to me one day, but first I will preface it by telling you that I always went back and forth about how much to say to a teacher about my son and how much they should figure out on their own especially as he got older. I had decided to share with this teacher some of my concerns and I will never forget what he said to me "don't you worry, after all God isn't finished with him yet"! That meant so much to me. It meant take today, don't try to work out tomorrow and don't limit him to what he is today you don't know what he will be tomorrow. He was a wise man! I would have never thought we would be where we are today. So don't fret, God isn't finished with him yet!xoxo

  5. I love that Laura! Thanks so much for sharing. I'm going to quote you next week. I think my blog readers must be the smartest (and best looking) people out there!!!

  6. thanks for sharing. My daughter is 6 1/2 and was diagnosed at age 3 with Sensory Integration Disorder. It has been very hard for me to accept that she is different. We mainstreamed her this year in school and she is doing great. That is thanks to an herb that we found that works.


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